Hey everyone,

Welcome to the final Retention Review of 2022! 🎄

When I started this new series a couple of months ago, we had 85 people reading the newsletter… that’s now grown to 200+.

I never expected so many people to offer up their data, so thanks to everyone who got involved - you’ve made this newsletter possible 🥺

Video gif. A man fist-bumps another person's fist that comes into the frame, and a pixelated explosion appears.

Is there anything you need from me? Or any questions you have? Just let me know :)

And with that, let’s look at 3 more videos… 🥳

1 - Clarity of concept

Title: Meet The World’s Richest Comedian
Creator: Joel Byars
Average % viewed: 49.4%

I love Joel’s content - a comedian making video essays on other comedians. Well worth your time.

Let’s take a look at his latest video…

What to repeat:

Structure.

Joel hides the identity of the richest comedian until the last 40% of the video.

The first 60% showcases other (increasingly) rich comics, which is gripping in its own right.
We’re shocked at how much each makes, so we’re excited to find out who makes more (and how). The tension builds and builds.
Bridging sentences between each comedian keep that tension going.
- e.g. “but the actual [highest] number is crazy!”

Editing

Taking the time to shoot additional B-Roll can 2x a video.

Footage of Joel taking a seat at his computer / typing on his phone give the video more depth.
Pacing + editing are great… video has a constant forward momentum.

What to improve:

Clarity of concept.

The intro confused me, but I didn’t realise it had until 2mins in.

At first I thought “meeting the world’s richest comedian is easier said than done” implied you were going to try to physically meet them.
I soon realised this wasn’t the case, but it still wasn’t 100% clear what the structure of the video going to be.
I understand, in hindsight, that the opening phrase means “figuring out who the richest comedian is… is easier said than done”, but this was slightly lost.
Once the intro gave way to discussing Kevin Hart, I assumed he was the richest comedian and that this was gonna be a video essay about him.
As a side point, the intro mentions the richest is a “he”, which makes the Ellen segment seem less important because we know it’s not her.
- This could explain the spike at the start of segment 4 - people skipping her bit.
Clarity is crucial in the first 10-15s, and a lack of understanding of the structure could have contributed to the dropoff in segments 1-3.

2 - And this, but that…

Title: Winston Churchill : The Mastermind Behind Bengal Famine
Creator: Harsh Raval
Average % viewed: 26.0%

This feels like a well-made TV documentary in bite-sized form.

Retention is consistent for the last ~7mins, which is awesome.

But the problem is in the hook.

What to repeat:

Storytelling.

Segment 2 feels like a great documentary.

We’re told about Bengal in the context of WWII. It’s gradually revealed how Churchill impacted the country. It’s well-researched and well-told.
Having the video broken up into ~2min chapters makes each point feel digestible.

What to improve:

Hook.

The tension needs to be introduced earlier in the hook.

The intro spends more than a minute recounting Churchill’s current reputation.
But this leads to a lot of “and then, and then, and then”.
This mode of storytelling isn’t quite engaging enough… we need to get to the “BUT” sooner → “And this, but that.”
We’ve understood within about 10s what the pervasive view of Churchill is, so we need to be told that it’s wrong much sooner.
Currently, the intro lasts 90s, by which point we’ve lost 70% of the audience.

3 - Taking the “list” out of “listicle”

Title: This will make you want to buy a sketchbook
Creator: Design. Draw. Do.
Average % viewed: 33.0%

If you’re not into drawing, I’m pretty sure this video will convince you.

I’ve chosen not to break this graph up because there’s a fairly consistent dropoff across the video, which comes down to one problem.

What to repeat:

Tone.

This is a relaxing watch.

Relaxed presentation.
Varied + interesting sketchpad B-Roll.
Vibeular music
- (Yes, “vibeular” is made up, but it’s going to catch on. This video is the very definition of “vibeular”.)

What to improve:

Giving the game away.

This a really easy trap to fall into because it feels like the most natural way to present information.

But starting each segment by straight up telling us the reason why having a sketchbook is good means we can skip ahead to the next point.
- Although getting additional context with nice B-Roll is ok, we no longer need to watch it because we already understood the whole segment.

But how else can you approach a listicle?

Instead, we could start each segment with some relatable context, then reveal the point later.
For example, the segment about using drawing to reduce screen time could start with something like:
- “This next point came about when I realised how much time I spend staring at screens,” or…
- “If you had to guess, how much time do you think you spend on your phone each day?”
Something like this re-engages the audience because you’re making them think about something they’ll resonate with.
Then, once we’ve used that to give context to the point, show that this is another reason they should buy a sketchbook.

One last thing…

Another huge thank you to everyone who read the newsletter this year!

When I went freelance in July, I didn’t really have a plan.

But I started this newsletter just to see what would happen, and I couldn’t be more pleased with how it’s gone so far.

Alongside my client work, I love having this lovely little group of people to discuss YouTube with.

2023 IS GONNA BE GREAT.

I’ve got a few more freebies coming, as well as some other little projects I’m excited about.

(Btw, my script review service sold out this week, but I’ve sneakily added 2 more to Gumroad. Although the price has increased, if you use the discount code XMAS300 you’ll still be able to get it for the original $300.)

Thanks everyone, and happy holidays!

George 👋❄️

Write On Time

🔎 Retention Review #6 - And this, BUT that.