Hey!

Out of interest, how often do you check your retention graphs after you upload?

Hit reply and let me know - I’ve never really asked before! :)

Just a heads up, a subscriber-only discount is ending next week, so stick around to find out more so you don’t miss out!

Let’s get into it…

1 - The analogue stick… really?

Title: A Non-Horror Fan Reviews Callisto Protocol
Creator: Adzi Gaming
Average % viewed: 41.8%

Nearly fell off my chair after that hook.

What to repeat:

pacing

This is a well-constructed review. He doesn’t labour the point at any stage, and the video moves at a nice pace.

personality

You really feel his personality during the review, and this is helped by using text to punctuate his strongest emotions (e.g. 1:36)

What to improve:

lighting

I know it’s a dark game, but I’d suggest a small amount of correction in the editing for our viewing experience.

payoff

The conclusion that many clicked for was given too early.
It’s definitely a well-put-together review, but revealing after just 1min that it wasn’t overly scary and that non-horror fans would be fine… probably gave many people the conclusion they came for.
When the payoff happens early, you either need to set up/foreshadow another payoff… or end the video.

title

The title isn’t bad, but it causes a problem related to my previous point.
The fact that he’s a non-horror fan becomes irrelevant after the conclusion that the game isn’t scary. After that, it’s just a regular review of the game.
This is so easy to overlook, and don’t get me wrong - the video is great! But it just pays to think about what exactly someone who clicks on that specific title is expecting from the video.

Takeaway:

If your payoff happens at the end of your video… end the video. If it happens in the middle, set up/foreshadow another one. Otherwise, people have nothing concrete to stick around for.

2 - We’re all trapped…

Title: How did everything become a monthly fee?
Creator: Simon Caine
Average % viewed: 50.0%

Anyone else feel like they don’t use 50% of their subscriptions? 😬

What to repeat:

unusual set

Despite the slightly janky visual style… I like it.
It reminds me of a John Oliver-style set up which you don’t often see on YouTube.
Simon’s videos are now living in my head rent-free because I’ve not seen many in this exact style.
In a world where talking head videos often look pretty similar… aim to be different and see if it resonates!

b-roll

B-Roll is used in various styles:
- Full-screen B-Roll
- It plays in a small, on-screen square (like a news show).
- Deliberately low-effort greenscreen.
Worth noting the first use of low-effort greenscreen happens at 12 seconds. This signposts to the audience what style the video is going to be, so they’re either on board or they’re not.

What to improve:

pace/pattern interrupt

Sometimes pattern interrupt is good in this video - varied B-Roll, changing angles, etc.
But the dropoff starts to worsen at 1:28.
- At this point, the video remains on the same still image of some brightly coloured text for 20s.
- Firstly, it’s hard to read, and secondly, it has a joke hiding in it, which distracted me from the point he was making.
- By the time this segment is done, I’ve kinda lost the thread of conversation.
- What follows then is nearly 100s of the creator sat talking to camera, with only a brief B-Roll interruption and not much else.
- Because I’d already lost the thread, I found it even harder to sustain my interest with no pattern interrupt to give my brain a kick.

confusion

The confusion mentioned above wasn’t the only moment for me.
There are two random cutaways to the creator dressed as “Kevin” and “Barry”… but I didn’t understand why.
There’s nothing wrong with having easter eggs that only subscribers will understand, but their contribution confused me.
Even if you want to do an in-joke, try and make it partly accessible to everyone else by (for example) adding a subtitle that names them and gives them a comical occupation (etc).
Their appearance made me feel slightly ‘outside the joke’.

Takeaway:

Your video doesn’t HAVE to emulate the style of other successful creators.

A brief interlude…

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Back to it…

3 - [golf-related pun, which I’ll think of later and remember to delete this bit for sure]

Title: Strangers Take Cash Prize if They Beat us in Golf
Creator: JnA Golf
Average % viewed: 34.6%

Sounds like a pretty good deal!

What to repeat:

editing/camerawork

We’ve got multiple cameras, drone footage, and amusing cutaways - this is a fun video to watch, even as a non-golfer.

premise

Challenging strangers for money is always a great premise, and these guys are super engaging on-camera as they interact with the challengers.
But there’s a small problem with the execution…

What to improve:

stakes

The stakes were kinda strange here.
During the hook, the creator says “…while we try not to embarrass ourselves”, which kinda implies they aren’t actually very good at golf (and shows someone making a bad shot).
- This, mixed with the forfeit being only $5 made the stakes feel low.
- The implied result was: likely failure x low stakes = lacking tension.
- This could explain the dropoff during S1.
Then, it turns out the creator is actually a good player, which contrasts with the implication in the hook.
- They then proceed to fairly easily start beating all the competitors, so now the tension has gone.
- This could explain the dropoff during S2.
During S3 there’s a genuinely close match going on, and the line is much straighter.
- Maybe we could have spliced footage of this match throughout the video as a sort of B-plot to keep the stakes high.

Takeaway:

Be extremely careful about how you set up your premise during the hook. Don’t say something just because it sounds dramatic if it contradicts what happens later.

That’s all for this week.

Thanks for sending your graphs! You keep this newsletter alive!

Speak soon,

George 👋

Write On Time

🔎RR#11 - We're all trapped...